Tears of the past
by cilverklaw
Summary: on hold! Something is wrong with duo that the other pilots don't know about...will it be too late to save the american pilot? Duo torture...just a little R&R!
1. something wrong

Disclaimer: *sniff* I don't…*Sniff* own them…Waah!  
  
The song duo is singing is by Jessica Riddle.  
  
**  
  
"Cause baby, that is how love goes…." Duo sang along with the radio merrily as he set about himself to making pancakes. Now there was the one thing that he could do no matter how bad his other cooking was.  
  
A sleepy-looking Quatre in blue pajamas walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes adorably. "Duo?" He rubbed his eyes again to make sure that he wasn't seeing things. Duo. Duo was up this early? Making breakfast? Praise be to Allah! [1]  
  
"Hey, Quat! Good morning!" Duo chirped brightly, turning slightly to grace the Arabian with one of his trademark grins.   
  
"What are you doing up so early? Didn't you have a late night?" Quatre asked, pouring himself some tea.  
  
"Yeah, the mission did take a long while. Then again, being a preventer takes a whole lot of your time, ne?" Duo replied, flipping the pancakes.  
  
"When did you get back last night?"  
  
"Around 2:30"  
  
"Why aren't you still asleep then?" Quatre teased. "Considering how you rant about your beauty sleep."  
  
"Hey! One needs certain things to rant about. And I just didn't feel like sleeping." Duo shrugged.  
  
Quatre opened his mouth to say something when Trowa and Wufei walked in. The Latin pilot greeted the blond with a quick kiss before going over to pour himself some coffee. Wufei sat down at the coffee table and put him head in his folded arms, appearing to go back to sleep.  
  
"…Don't want to get up…" He mumbled, burrowing further into his arms.  
  
"Rise and shine, Wuffers! Breakfast is served." With that Duo placed a plate of pancakes in front of Wufei and three others for the pilots as Heero walked in.  
  
Wufei groaned and forced himself to get up. Duo nodded a greeting and a smile to Heero before turning back to the stove.  
  
"Duo, these are really good!" Quatre exclaimed, taking a bite.  
  
"Hm, pancakes are definitely your thing." Wufei hummed in pleasure, eyes closing to savor the taste.  
  
Duo blushed delicately and concentrated on cleaning up. He was putting the things away, when Trowa's voice piped up.  
  
"Wait. Aren't you going to eat?" He asked, gesturing towards the rest of them.  
  
"You seem skinnier than before." Heero added.  
  
"Naw, I'm not hungry. I'll eat later." Duo left the kitchen, ignoring Heero's statement, humming cheerfully to himself.  
  
***  
  
Duo sighed and leaned against his closed bedroom door He rubbed his eyes tiredly. Hell, he was tired. He hadn't gotten even an hour of sleep last night before…before the nightmares had started to haunt him again.  
  
He couldn't tell anybody. Quatre would worry too much, Trowa wouldn't know what to do, Wufei would tell him to shut up and Heero….well, Heero was still the perfect soldier, though he was starting to act a little more human than before, but he still wouldn't care.  
  
He looked on his dresser where a bottle used, half empty. It wasn't usually there. But the past few weeks had led him to take those.  
  
Opening the bottle, he took out two pills and swallowed them, draining them down with a glass of water and stepping back out his door, to go to work.  
  
**  
  
[1] Thanks tiffa! borrowing your quote there .O  
  
I'll write more if I get enough reviews ^_^….I still can't figure out why I like to torture Duo. *Blinks* ^_^ 


	2. collapse

No, Duo is not going to die…..unless u want to .O  
  
Me happy with reviews! All hail the reviewers. I 3 you!!!!!  
  
….yah, I'm high off tortillas….*blinks*  
  
**  
  
As days went by, Duo grew weaker. He ate less and less, since eating anything caused him to throw up after the nightmares. If he slept. Lately he tried not to sleep at all, and he succeeded, living on the pills. Dark circles appeared under his sunken eyes, dull and empty. He grew quieter and the pilots noticed.  
  
Quatre grew increasingly worried and was on Duo constantly like a mother hen. Even the others tried to force him to eat. But then again duo could always talk himself out of any situation. He always managed to slip by without really eating anything.  
  
One day, late at night, Heero sat reading by the fireplace. It was a book about Egyptian tombs that Wufei had let him borrow. It was around 11:00 and everybody else was asleep, except for him. And Duo, of course. The American pilot was still at the preventer's office.  
  
An insistent knocking sounded on the door, disturbing Heero from his reading. Thinking it was probably Duo, Heero made no move to open the door since all of the pilots had a key to Quatre's mansion. The knocking continued. The Japanese ex-pilot frowned and put down his book, walking to the door.  
  
Opening it carefully, ready to knockdown any intruder and looked out. He found an exhausted looking Duo, standing with his dist raised to knock again.  
  
"Hey." Came a croak.  
  
"Duo, What happ-" That's all Heero was able to get out before Duo collapsed. Moving quickly he caught the boy before he hit the ground.  
  
"Duo!" he shook the boy, trying to wake him up, but to no avail. Hefting the American up, he raced into the house and upstairs.  
  
"Wufei! Quatre! Trowa!" He yelled as he rushed into Duo's room and placed him on the bed. The other three young men came running.  
  
"Oh god! What happened?" Quatre cried as he saw Duo laying unmoving on the bed.  
  
"I don't know. He knocked and when I opened the door, he collapsed." Heero replied.  
  
"I knew it! He hasn't been eating or sleeping at all! Have you seen him? He's always so tired-"  
  
"Quatre, calm down." Trowa said soothingly. Meanwhile Wufei had moved to the dresser.  
  
"Look at this." He said. Three pairs of eyes moved to look at him. He held up an almost empty bottle.  
  
"Caffeine pills."  
  
**  
  
sorry for the short chapter! I had to get it out before I burst! *deflates to her normal size* There! Much better! Remember, an author's motivation depends on how many reviews she gets…hint, no…pleading request, yes! ^_^ 


	3. questions

Wow! I'm getting chapters up quickly…I love you, my faithful reviewers! ^_^ I am writing this at school since my classes are so boring -.- …any way, on with the story.  
  
**  
  
They took turns watching their unconscious friend. Heero had refused to leave the room, even to eat, until Wufei had talked some sense into him.  
  
"What is the point if you become just as weak as he is?"  
  
Heero had relented and decided to leave the room once in a while. Duo hadn't woken up in two days. Dr. Po was called and she decided that it was exhaustion and the lack of food and sleep that caused him to be so weakened. She had assured them that she would be back in a couple of days.  
  
That afternoon, the pilots were talking quietly in Duo's room.  
  
"Why did he do this to himself?" Quatre questioned.  
  
"We don't know, Quatre. Only Duo can tell us that." Heero sighed and leaned back in his chair, which was beside the bed. His fingers absently stroked Duo's knuckles.  
  
A moan came from the bed and Duo stirred. Bleary eyes opened and blinked a couple of times. Then the hazy faces of the other ex-pilots hovering over him became clear.  
  
"Hey." He mumbled. His throat felt horribly dry and he coughed a little. "Water." He croaked.  
  
Wufei picked up the glass of water from the bedside table, while Heero helped him sit up and supported him, as Wufei held the glass to the bedridden pilot's lips.  
  
"What happened?" he asked after his voice came back to normal.  
  
"You passed out. Two days ago." Trowa said, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back against the wall.  
  
"Duo, what's going on?" Quatre asked, pleadingly. Duo looked away from those pain filled marine blue eyes and stared at the bed. Heero gave his hand a gentle squeeze and the American pilot looked at their clasped hands for the first time. He looked up at Heero, the deep cobalt eyes comforting. He looked into them and said.  
  
"I…can't. Not…yet." He pleaded with his eyes to Heero. The Japanese pilot looked disappointed but he didn't push it. He patted duo's hand comfortingly and placed it back on the bed.  
  
"Rest. For now." He said, getting up. Duo gave him a small smile and closed his eyes, settling into slumber. With one look at the other pilots, Heero left the room.  
  
Trowa and Quatre also left the room, Wufei moving to follow them when he stopped. Turning back, he looked at the sleeping pilot. Walking over, he brushed away few wisps of dark chestnut hair that had escaped the braid.  
  
"Rest, love. For now."  
  
**  
  
sorry, that was all I was able to do….but I'll have more up…if I get enough reviews ^_^ mooahahah! 


	4. nightmare

Woot! Another chappie! Lalalala….i have nothing to say so lalalalal…  
  
Disclaimer: dun own them  
  
"Duo please! You have to eat. You can't starve forever."  
  
"I'm not hungry, Wufei."  
  
"How can you not be? You haven't eaten for Two days!"  
  
"I'm not hungry."  
  
This was the sight that greeted Heero when he walked into the room. Wufei sitting beside the bed, holding a tray with a bowl of soup and Duo on the bed, Head turned away from Wufei, pouting and staunchly refusing any food.  
  
"Duo?"  
  
The American pilot turned towards the voice and the amethyst eyes lit up. "Heero!"  
  
"How are you feeling?" He asked, taking a seat, opposite Wufei on the other side of the bed.  
  
"Not hungry." The braided baka turned sticking his tongue out at Wufei. The Chinese pilot sighed heavily.  
  
"You deal with him." He said to Heero.  
  
"Duo…you have to eat. I'm not letting you out of this room until you do." Duo's eyes widened and became one of those 'you wouldn't…would you?' expressions.  
  
"But, Heero-"  
  
"No buts.  
  
Duo pouted adorably. "Fine." Heero took the tray from Wufei and set it on Duo's lap. Duo shook his head and opened his mouth.  
  
Hero sighed. "Okay." He took the bowl of soup and fed Duo slowly.  
  
Wufei looked on a little jealous…okay a lot jealous and sad that Duo accepted things from Heero but not him. He slipped unnoticed from the room and leaned back against the adjoining wall, sighing. He knew that Duo was in love with Heero and Heero was starting to show some affection towards Duo. "Why me? Why now?" He silently asked himself. He left to his room to try and ease his mind with some meditation.  
  
He came back in a little while to find Heero gone and Duo in the middle of a nightmare. The body on the bed writhed, tangling the sheets around it.  
  
"Duo!" He rushed over to the bed and untangled him from the twisted sheets. He took hold of the thrashing body and shook him.  
  
"Duo! Wake up please! Wake up!"  
  
"No, no, please, no...not again…" Duo whimpered, tears leaking from closed eyes and coursing down pale cheeks.  
  
Wufei pulled Duo into his arms, starting to get a little scared. "Its okay. Shh. Just a dream, that's all…wake up…" He rocked Duo back and forth, tucking the chestnut head to his chest.  
  
Duo woke up gasping for breath, clutching at the body pressed against him. He shuddered violently and wailed.  
  
"Why, Heero? Why? Why won't they leave me alone?! What did I do?" He burrowed into the safety of the comforting arms and inhaled the clean scent that was Heero. Wait, that wasn't Heero…  
  
He looked up and reeled back as he saw Wufei. "Wufei!" The Chinese pilot looked…hurt? Duo couldn't tell since it had disappeared the next moment. Wufei ducked his head and blushed. "Um…are you okay now?"  
  
Duo looked confused. Then he shook his head, clearing up his thoughts. "Yeah. Yeah…I'm okay. Thanks, 'fei"  
  
"You're drenched in sweat. Why don't you go and take a shower?" Wufei suggested, getting off the bed and not meeting Duo's eyes.  
  
"Yeah…yeah sure. Listen, 'fei…"  
  
But Wufei cut him off. "Dinner will be ready in about half and hour. I'll bring it up when I hear the water turn off." He walked out of the doorway, head down, hands in the pockets of his customary white pants. Duo had looked shocked and disappointed to see him. Foolishly he had allowed his own emotions to be shown on his face.   
  
He went down the stairs dejected and worried and met the others in the living room.  
  
"Hey, Wufei." Quatre greeted him with a smile.  
  
"Hello, Quatre." He replied with a small smile of his own. Turning to the others, he said gravely. "I need to talk to you about something."  
  
The three pilots immediately stopped doing whatever they were doing and turned to face Wufei, giving him their complete attention. Whoa! He had not been expecting that reaction. They were actually listening to him.  
  
"Duo had a nightmare." Heero immediately stood up. "Wait, Yuy. Let me finish." Taking a deep breath he continued. "He had a nightmare, but I was able to wake him up. He um…he thought I was Heero. He seemed fine afterwards. It seemed as though these nightmares come repeatedly. Leave him alone for now and talk to him later." He finished, flanking at Heero.  
  
The Japanese pilot scowled and turning around, he strode out of the room. Wufei heaved a sigh, rubbing his forehead tiredly.  
  
"Wufei, I'm sorry." Quatre said sadly.  
  
"Hm? What are you talking about?" He frowned. Then looking at Quatre and then at Trowa he realized. They knew.  
  
He flushed and chuckled quietly. "Is it that obvious?"  
  
"No, not at all infact. My empathy was what had told me that you were feeling this way." Quatre replied gently.  
  
"Um…yeah." Wufei didn't know what to say.  
  
"It'll work out, Wufei. Somehow it'll work out." Trowa comforted.  
  
"Hopefully."  
  
lalalala….scribbles on paper no…tears it up…scribbles on another paper no no definitely not…Looks at you O.O see the dilemma I'm in.??? so please Review and get me out of this haze of stupidity XP 


	5. love and heartbreak

Once again, a chapter……  
  
"Duo?"  
  
The said pilot turned from the mirror where he was brushing his damp hair.  
  
"Heero. Hi."  
  
"Can I come in?" The Japanese pilot looked flustered. Never before had he felt strange entering Duo's room without permission but something made him stop and ask. He felt as though he was on uncharted territory.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Of course." Duo gave him a strange look. Why was he being so hesitant? Heero entered the room and looked around as if he was in there for the first time. Finally his eyes came to a rest on Duo.  
  
"Do…Do you want me to brush your hair?" He asked timidly.   
  
Duo was in shock. Here was Heero, trained killing machine, the perfect soldier, wanting to do something as domestic as to brush his hair. Well, if he wanted to, far be it from one crazy American to stop him.  
  
"Sure." He replied, turning to sit on the bed. Heero came forward a little hesitantly and walked around to climb in behind Duo. Taking the brush from Duo's hand, He started with gentle stokes, working from the bottom up. By the time he had gotten to Duo's scalp, the American was purring happily.   
  
Duo sighed with pleasure as he leaned back into the gentle strokes. He always loved it when someone brushed his hair. It was an incredibly intimate thing for him and he was glad that Heero was the one doing it for him.  
  
Once he had gotten all the tangles out, Heero ran his fingers through those thick strands of chestnut. He lifted a few tendrils to his face and inhaled the rich scent. Sandalwood. And Duo's own unique scent. How he had dreamed of this ever since he had seen it unbound once a long time ago. He sighed and buried his face in that scented hair.  
  
Duo, mildly surprised by Heero's actions, turned his head sideways. "Heero?"  
  
"Oh, Duo…" Heero murmured. "I've done something awful."  
  
"What is it, Heero?"  
  
"I…I fell in love with you."  
  
Duo smiled and leaned back, snuggling against the powerful chest. "Oh, Heero. I have waited for this day since forever." He sighed.  
  
Heero pulled back, shock written all over his face. "You mean…?"  
  
"Yes." He released the breath of air that he had unconsciously been holding. "Gods! Yes! I love you, Heero." He turned and wrapped his arms around Heero's neck. "I love you." He murmured over and over again.  
  
Heero, once he recovered from his shock, wrapped his own arms around Duo and hugged him tightly. He would never let this go. No matter what, he would never let go.  
  
Duo pulled back and blindly searched for Heero's lips. When he finally found them, he sealed them with his own in a kiss, born completely out of love. This was Heaven.  
  
Wufei came upstairs carrying a tray of food. He gently pushed open the half open door into duo's room with his foot, since his hands were full. "Duo, I've…" What he saw stopped him in his tracks. Heero. And Duo. Locked together in what was a passionate kiss.  
  
"Wufei." Quatre called as he came up the stairs and moved towards him. "What happe…" The blond also stopped in his tracks as he saw what was happening inside. Turning to Wufei, he tried to soothe him. "Wufei, I…"  
  
Wufei backed away from the door, shock and pain written all over his face. Looking at Quatre, he shoved the tray at him and turned away from the pitying eyes and running downstairs and out the door. Quatre heard the motorcycle rev up and screech across the driveway and sped of into the streets.  
  
"Oh, Wufei…"  
  
Do not blame me for this chapter. I have been sick and hallucinating…god knows what comes out then…beware…shudder 


	6. Author's note

Ok...i just read this story....and it just occured to me that it is very poorly written. So i want to try again and make it better. I'm gonna write this story againand hope that it doesn't turn out to be as bad as i think it its. Thank you for all those who reviewed. Chapter 1 should be back up in a couple of days. ja ne! 


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